Policebird Stuff and more (David Severn writes…)

David Severn is one of the artists in SPOKEN. His paintings and illustrations have been a source of enjoyment to me  for many years. Now, he has surprised me with some writing...
A saluting policebird

A Policebird reporting for duty.

Guidelines for Officers, Constables, Sergeants etc entering certain establishments (from the Policebird Force Manual): When entering an art gallery, be sure to scan the premises for hoodlums or splatterpillars which may cause some kind of bother e.g. breaking everything, punching each other, spilling beverages everywhere etc. These can sometimes be confused with guests or wanderers, but those will probably be holding a glass of blackcurrant cordial or a small piece of food, such as a cheese whatisit or a grape or olive with some cheese balanced on it, or alternatively secured with a cocktail stick. If all's clear then check the artworks on display for any kind of infringement which may cause offence or misery to anybody and also anything too sharp or anything sticking out too much which is likely to snag a person's coat or hat etc. Be mindful that some artworks are not easily discernible from ordinary rubbish which may have been left lying around. If in doubt, as a general rule, the artworks will be wildly priced, whereas the rubbish will not be priced (although this may vary from art gallery to art gallery). Guidelines for Officers, Constables, Sergeants etc entering certain establishments (from the Policebird Force Manual): Supplement: Identifying artists and gallery owners: At a one-birdman exhibition with a crowd of oglers and munchers, the artist can be easily identified as the one smiling or grimacing politely almost constantly, having red cheeks or a red whole of face and standing at forty-five degrees to a wall and unable to move. The artist bird person cannot be confused with the owner of the art gallery, who will dart quickly from corner to corner or will emit dust when patted firmly. If I were you, I would grab a warm beverage and then click this:  garden jam: Kola Nut Hotel: Creepers Sleepers

One Response to Policebird Stuff and more (David Severn writes…)

  1. Pingback: Designers I have worked with… | blacksteps

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